Halloween Trivia

Just one question:

Since when did they start letting

angels

out on Halloween?

I hope you are enjoying yours

(angels, not Halloween)

as much as I am enjoying mine!

Oh, and keep an eye out for a

Strawberry Shortcake ring.

I'm willing to trade all the smarties the children collect.

(Because usually you get a lot of smarties

when you are trick-or-treating.)

Do you think they will notice?

Happy Halloween!

My Beliefs

Oldest daughter was in terrible pain on Tuesday night. She was complaining of a sore neck. So sore that she refused to move it an inch. She walked around most of the evening with her head tilted to her left shoulder. I reviewed the events of the day to come up with a reason why her neck might be in such a state. And settled on nothing.

Yesterday when she awoke she was still experiencing the discomfort. She made a valiant attempt at dressing herself for school. The option to stay home was given. She was determined to go to school so that she wouldn't miss out on the free dress-down day (her school requires uniforms) for those with perfect attendance at the end of the month. Her biggest concern was how to find the nurse's office if she needed to come home during her school day. I assured her that her teacher would find a way to get her to the nurse. And so I e-mailed her teacher of the situation, explaining about the neck pain and the anxiety about finding the nurse's office.

In the end, the pain was too much and I determined that she should stay home. Another e-mail was sent- overriding the first. And oldest daughter spent the majority of her day on the couch with a sock filled with rice that was heated and re-heated in the microwave to provide a little relief to those sore muscles.

Finally at the end of the day, I phoned my chiropractor brother who was able to give a little advice. We got on the web-cam so he could demonstrate some specific massages and acupressure techniques that might relieve some pain.

Sometimes as a mother I feel helpless when attending to the infirmities and heartaches of my children. I am so grateful to have the help of an earthly brother and even a Heavenly Father to draw upon for ideas bigger than myself. I am grateful for the support of a husband who works hard so that I can be home with our children. We make a great team.

I am so blessed to be a mother. I love my children. I love our family. I love that they rely on me for so many of their little needs. I wish they could stay little forever. I worry about them going out into the world and all the ickiness that is out there.

And this is when it all makes sense. This little person. This little spirit. She needs parents- a mother and a father. A mother to teach her to be sensitive to others, to the things of the spirit, to nurture and love. A father to teach her to be logical, accepting of others, lead and guide. Male and female role models to teach by example. How would she learn these things otherwise? She first needed a father and a mother to bring her into this world.

This is how families are meant to be. This is how children are meant to be reared. It is natural. It is logical. Male and female come together to create life. Biology dictates this. Set aside religion or government. Biology dictates this. Anything other than man and woman does not create life for the future society. Any other union would cause humanity to cease to exist. This is not to say that those who choose alternative lifestyles are bad people. It is to say that those who choose alternative lifestyles are working against biology. I believe marriage should be defined as a union between one man and one woman.

I believe people- whatever choices they make- are inherently good. And all people are free to choose. I have chosen to be with a man. If not for the union with my husband, this little daughter- pains and all- would not exist. I would not be blessed so abundantly with three little ones that are direct offspring of the husband and me. They are an extension of us. They rely on us to lead and guide. And they are an eternal blessing.

These are my beliefs. Whatever your beliefs may be, I respect them. Even if we differ.

Two Tags and a Little Miscellany

I have two tags- one from Stefany and one from Beckie- to take care of:

first, the 4th picture in my 4th folder is this beauty:

This is oldest daughter about 2 1/2 years ago. Painting a masterpiece. One I am sure she ripped out of the book as soon as she was done and hung it on the refrigerator and then after it had its time on the fridge I am sure I threw it away. Because, as much as I'd like to keep it, I just don't have room for ALL of the childrens' art work. And I am sure she found it in the garbage can later and asked me why I threw it away and then she re-hung it. And then it was there for a while longer until I removed it. And having learned my lesson and being a wiser mother, I dug down deep in the trash and covered all signs of its existence so that it would not be rediscovered. And now it is in a landfill somewhere.

This is the general routine at our house.

second, here is the bookworm tag which involves opening the nearest book to page 56 and writing out the fifth sentence on that page, and also the next two to five sentences...The CLOSEST BOOK, NOT YOUR FAVORITE, OR MOST INTELLECTUAL!!

Here goes: the nearest book to me is Catherine, Called Birdy.

"Finally I conceived a small amusement to pass the time. I took a string from the lute that once was mine but now belongs to the cook, cut it into pieces as the traveling musician had showed me, and sprinkled them on a dish of creamed herring as it passed by. The heat of the dish made the piece of string writhe and wiggle."

I tag Heidi, Suzi, Marni, Natalie, and Calli. (that is, if any of you are reading this blog. oh, and you can choose which tag you would like to participate in. or not. whatever. it's totally up to you.)

And now, for your viewing pleasure. The continuing saga of

What's in Your Dryer?

Remember how I said I was gonna start checking pockets?

Well, I haven't really started that yet.

So I guess the joke's on me... again.

This is what came out of the wash today:

Shall we zoom in

and examine the items a bit closer?

I count 13 small hair clippies and two fragments of cardboard, one large and one small. And look how shiny those clippies came out. Wow. Ultra Buena!

What will the children come up with next?

Can't wait to find out. And it should be soon. Because I get to do more laundry tomorrow!

I Miss Friday Night Videos

It's Lucky, lucky Tuesday! (I decided to stay with that little intro, because I have used it the last two Tuesdays and it's kinda catchy. So, perhaps this is my new little tradition.)

This one is for any of you guys who fully embraced the 80's. I did. And I continue to embrace them. These provided my family and me with loads of laughter. I hope they do the same for you and your family.

If this video isn't loading, go here to see it.

Now watch this:

If this video isn't loading, go here to see it.

Rock On, 80's!!

Check That Bag

Does anyone know where I can find a Strawberry Shortcake ring? The kind you get at the ward trunk or treat. You know, the one you never even looked at. The one that is irreplaceable. And even if you wanted to replace it you couldn't because, well, YOU NEVER SAW THE THING! Middle daughter's was flushed down the toilet at church today. It was a tragical event. Here's how it went down: (went down. tee hee.)

During Sacrament meeting both oldest daughter and middle daughter had to use the bathroom. I have only recently been letting them go on their own. So off they went. A few minutes later middle daughter returned. Sobbing. Doing the double-breath thing. Like she was way sad.

She told me that oldest daughter had been wearing middle daughter's Strawberry Shortcake ring (what ring? I had never seen a Strawberry Shortcake ring) and dropped it in the toilet. So I immediately stood up to usher her out of the chapel. So as not to make a scene. Because she could not be consoled.

All the way out of the chapel she kept muttering stuff about the toilet. And people could hear her sad words. Which is ok, because I think people kind of get how we are by now. And I think they accept us anyway. I think. (I got a few questions on this from curious friends later- and I shared with them our little sadness. And appropriate sympathy was offered.)

We made a beeline for the bathroom. And you can bet I was prepared to fish that ring out of the toil-y. Just as we entered the bathroom I heard the surge of water that signifies the flushing of the toilet. A little girl came out of the stall. I didn't even have to ask. She informed me that she just flushed "it" down. Thanks.

One little girl's world shattered with a single flush.

Unleash the floodgates. The tears came. And they didn't stop. For a long time. You would have thought middle daughter had just lost the canine. She was utterly heartbroken. We spent the next ten minutes trying to calm and settle. And then, once she was done crying, the questions came. You know the ones about can we go to the store tomorrow and get one just like it? The ones that you know are un-answerable.

All I know is that the ring is somewhere far away. Probably making its way to

P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney.

I have no doubt that Dorie will find it. And what would P. Sherman do with a Strawberry Shortcake ring anyway? He's a dentist. I think he could afford at least a cubic zirconia. Here's to hoping he'll let it go.

So here is what I have learned: not only do you need to go through your children's trick-or-treat bag to find the icky candies that have been tampered with, but also so you can take note on the jewelry. In case it gets flushed down the toilet. Or something else. Because anything is possible. Especially when you are trying to keep your family reverent. Like at church.

Be sure to sign up...

I want my next house to be the church. Because every Saturday the 3-5 families who signed up would come to clean it. And it would only take 45 minutes. And all the floors would be swept and mopped and vacuumed. And the windows would get washed. And the trash emptied. And the bathrooms cleaned. And the t.p. and paper towels re-stocked. And the chalk boards cleaned. And all the chairs stacked and straightened. And it would be dusted. And I would have a library. I have always wanted a library. And I could watch the Free to Choose stuff whenever I wanted. And easels. I would have easels. And I would have a gym. And a stage. And a huge bathtub. And I could warm any meal I wanted to in the kitchen.

I'm sending around the sign-up sheet tomorrow. I don't think my ward will mind. You can get people to sign up for pretty much anything.

Rise and Shout!!

It's GAME DAY!!

Do you know where your BYU Football is?

click on the "Y" for a link to season schedule

The Cougars are in Provo taking on the Rebels of UNLV.

Go Cougs!!!

BYU Wins!

BYU 42 UNLV 35

Did I ever tell you about the time that...

So, here's the working situation of the husband: he works for an awesome company that is based in Provo, Utah. The husband heads up the Phoenix office. He has one whole co-worker that shares the Phoenix office with him. She is awesome. Being that they are the only two in Phoenix while the office in Provo is stacked with very cool people, they have different opportunities than those in the main office. And sometimes they miss out on fun stuff. And probably they miss out on some drama.

In my daily readings last week, I came across the post of a Provo office co-worker of the husband. This co-worker was reminiscing on the zany antics of the folks up in the UT. All those silly pranks and practical jokes (are pranks and p.j.'s the same thing? dunno.)

In reading the post I started feeling a little sad for the husband. Because he is a huge fan of the art of the practical joke. As am I. The great thing about a p.j. is that it inspires the victim to do one better. We can't resist them. We love to engage in them. And we compete for the title of Ultimate P.J. Master. But since the husband is in Phoenix, he misses out on the office shenanigans. Poor guy. There's not a lot of feasibility for the anonymity of a great p.j. here in this Phoenix office.

So I have spent a lot of time feeling sad for the husband. And then it hit me: I need to be feeling sad for my cute self. Because at least he has an office. Whereas, I do not have an office. Therefore (follow my math here):

Stay at Home Mom - Office = No Practical Joke Opportunities.

As I have been wallowing in this self-pity for a day and a half, I have come to the realization that since marriage and children, I have become the butt of ALL practical jokes. And I must list some of the funniest p.j.'s that the husband and children have pulled over on me. So here goes (and I am going to incorporate the bullets here).

• The time all the dishes in the house were dirty and left in the sink for me to clean. And then when it happened again the next day.
• The time the washable marker on the wall turned out to be NOT washable.
• The time I found my good silverware in the garden.
• The time oldest daughter cut the pony tail holder out of middle daughter's hair along with a little hair.
• The time I couldn't find one of the children in Kohl's.
• The time an entire pack of Orbit gum went through the washer and dryer and almost an entire summer wardrobe had to be discarded.

(I told you these were pretty funny. Continuing...)

• The time the toilet seat was left up and it was late at night and I got up to take care of some business.
• The time all the toys in the toybox were emptied on the floor of the loft and I was able to step on a few.
• The time I got home from a meeting and the house was empty and then I realized that everyone was just hiding from me.
• The time my bra was found in the toybox.
• The time little son was trying to get The Jungle Book dvd out of its case and snapped that disc right in half. (It doesn't get funnier than that.)
• The time middle daughter was playing with her Ariel Barbie in a bucket of water in the middle of the kitchen floor and there was more water on the floor than in the bucket.

Like I said, one of the best things about the p.j. is that it can inspire a person to come back with a bigger and better practical joke. So, all I have to say is Family, you have come up with some crazy stuff, but you better watch out- Mom's thinking up some doozies. And then the joke will be on YOU!

Editor's note: this sounds like the post of a disgruntled housewife. Not the case. I just thought it was a funny concept, so I went with it. Wouldn't trade the jokes for the world.

Things That I Love Today...

• Little son's excitement for Halloween and his need to remind me every 3 minutes that he is going to be Darth Vader, closely followed by, "What is so and so going to be?"
• The tooth that oldest daughter has been protecting for a couple months finally fell out last night.
• When I take a moment to sit down on the couch, middle daughter will plop down beside me and ask, "Have you been wanting to sit by me all day long?" and then I say, "Yes, all day long!" and then she says, "I know."
• The husband bathed and loved the kids last night while I was away at a meeting and will do the same this evening while I attend another meeting.
• I awoke to a beautifully cool morning.
• The rain lily bulbs I ordered have arrived and some have been planted.
• The trees we planted General Conference weekend are not dead and are lovely additions to our back yard.
• The ghosts hanging in the front yard tree and spiders hanging in the house we have made for the past couple family home evenings thrill the children. They are sure to point to the three-eyed ghost (middle daughter's idea) when we drive into the driveway.
• When I took oldest daughter's lunch to her when she forgot it in the car she replied, "Mom, you made my wish come true!"
• Little son placed his hand on my cheek and said, "You are beautiful!" with no provocation.
• Home made doughnuts my mom makes every Halloween.
• The days the husband is able to work from home.
• The forts the children constructed in the back yard.
• Lindt chocolate truffles.
• The magic blanket with the wizard/dragon combo.
• Middle daughter's excitement with the "bumpy pumpkin" she picked out at the farm.
• The husband keeps the children informed on Santa's daily routine via his twitter feed.

What are some of the things you love today?

When Saw We A Stranger?

A stranger showed up

at my dinner table last night.

She bore a striking resemblance

to middle daughter.

Right down to the cold sores

on middle daughter's bottom lip.

She was such a cute stranger

and since middle daughter

never arrived,
I fed the poor little thing.

She really enjoyed the corn and potatoes,

but didn't care for the zucchini.

That's a shame,

because middle daughter

worked so hard

to pick that zucchini

at the farm yesterday

on her field trip.

I think when that zucchini is made

into chocolate zucchini cake,

middle daughter

will materialize.

And she will love zucchini.

In the form of chocolate zucchini cake.

Lucky, Lucky Tuesday

It's Lucky, lucky Tuesday. Do you know what that means? It means you need to sit down and get comfy because it is story time! I am about to share another morsel from my life regarding Barta Heiner. (for a little Barta background go here)

Again, when I was at BYU and rooming with the best roommate on the planet (besides the husband) we both worked at the Morris Center. Did you work at the Morris Center? The roommate, let's call her J, and I met there, in fact. We worked together, serving food to ravenous dorm-livers for a whole year (and eating the yummy cookies from the dessert line).

After we spent a year working together, we decided that we should be roommates. So we were. And it was great. Except for the psycho roommates. And we got a new living situation. And we bought a t.v. from Barta Heiner. And from then on, we were obsessed with all things Barta. Because it was a funny thing to laugh about. An inside joke, if you will.

One day we were at work and there appeared by the kronos (the time clock system used by BYU) a stack of half-sheet fliers advertising a production that Barta was to be appearing in: The Glass Menagerie. We did the only logical thing that one might do, if you ACTUALLY KNOW Barta Heiner. We took home that stack of Barta fliers and cut out her face from each one and taped them to the wall to form a huge heart-shape from the numerous mugs of her. That's so logical- we heart Barta, therefore we should make a heart-shape out of her pictures.

In the following days we came across small posters advertising the production which we took home to add to the shrine. There was an article in The Daily Universe announcing the opening of the show. We cut that out and encapsulated it in the Barta heart.

J and I met in the Cougareat at the Wilk one day for lunch. As we were simultaneously eating and checking out the hotties (actually, I was the only one checking out the hotties since J had a missionary + a boyfriend= dear john. and all I had was a really great guy friend who shared a confusing relationship with me) we noticed on the wall, hanging near some large artwork, a giant 3' x 4' poster advertising The Glass Menagerie with guest artist Barta Heiner. We had to have that poster. It was the missing piece.

A plan was hatched. The production was to run February 23- March 9th. The final performance being March 9 at 7:30 PM. We determined to be in the Cougareat on March 9th at 7:31 to claim that poster for our own.

On the appointed day at the appointed time we made the dangerous journey to carry out the risky mission. We made our way to the Wilkinson Center and carefully removed the poster from the spot in which it hung. We stole that poster. (Can you believe it? We are thieves.) We took it home and displayed it proudly in the front room of our house.

After it hung in the front room for a few weeks, it was relocated to our bedroom so that it could complete the Barta shrine. It was hung on the wall adjacent to the heart. And it was a thing of beauty. The likes of which have never been seen since. It was pure tribute to the wonder that is Barta Heiner.




Shortly after, J became engaged and I met the man of my dreams and became engaged myself. We both had summer weddings and new roommates. The shrine was dismantled. And in packing up at the end of the school year for a new life, somehow I won the poster and the cut out faces.

One newlywed evening the husband and I were talking and I divulged to him the whole Barta odyssey. I ran to our closet and pulled from its dark corner a rolled up poster. I slid off the rubber bands, unrolled the poster and revealed to the husband a tidbit from my past.

A plan was hatched. We took that poster and a few of the cutout faces and in the dark of night crept to the basement apartment of J and her groom. We pasted the poster and little Barta faces to their door, knocked and ran like a child who is trying to pull one over on the clerk at the Corner Store.


I haven't seen the poster since. But I trust that it is well taken care of.


*after I dug this picture out of my stack of un-scrapbooked photos, I noticed that there are show tickets and a play bill from the show. I do not recall going to the show. I don't have a clue what the tickets might be from. My memory fails me. So, J, if you read this can you remember what those are?

In Case I Get Taken To Zurg's Fortress....

I have an idea of what you can do if you have a couple minutes today. You should google your username. I googled my username to see what would pop up. I won't go into what led me to do this, cause I can't really remember (but, really I do- I am just a little shy to go into it and middle daughter has taught me that when you say "I forgot" you can usually get off the hook). But, I found my username connected to a bunch of links on google. And it made me happy.

Because, well, me=vain.

But, I found out some things in the process: 1) I was able to finally find the blog of a nephew and niece. That was cool, because I lost them for a while and I was pretty vexed. 2) You gotta keep current on what's out there on google. 3) There is someone on Got Lamp Oil with my same username (Whaaa?). AND, the worst, 4) someone was mis-interpreting my username trublubyu to say trub lub yu. Yes, I learned this on google.

So, the lesson I learned from this, and listen up because it could save you in the future, is that I need to set this one straight. Because if I ever get kidnapped and you need to find me, you will need to know right away who I am. Because have you ever seen Toy Story 2? You know the part when Woody gets stolen by the fat man? And Buzz is having a hard time figuring out the license plate?

(LZTYBRN = Al's Toy Barn)

Well, that is what could happen if I don't provide a little incite. You and I will thank each other later for paying attention to this. So here's for prevention. K, read on...

• I am NOT trub lub yu. That is someone else. Probably. (there has to be one of those out there. Right?)

Nor am I :

• TR ubl ub yu
• trubl u by u
• t rublu by u
• t ru blub yu
• t rub luby u
• trubl u b yu
• and any number of variations that one might come up with

I am, in fact, trublubyu---- as in TRUE BLUE BYU. Do I even need to explain? I think you can figure it out because just like Oprah has the prettiest audience ever, I know my readers are the most intelligent ever.

Review: trublubyu = True Blue BYU

So, now you know who I really am, since my identity is a mystery- secret and all. Believe me, we will be thanking each other for this later.

Lessons Learned at the Gas Station

I stopped off to fill up the van this afternoon after fighting the unruly grocery store crowds and purchasing food items for the family- for some reason they want to eat. EVERY DAY!

As I backed up to the pump, there was a woman behind my car who was pumping gas and engaged in a conversation with the man sharing her pump. When I took a closer look, I saw that the man was pouring water from a plastic water jug onto his face. Of course I listened to their conversation.

The woman: When you are done with your water can I use it to wash the gas off my car?
The man: I just got splashed in the face with gasoline I don't know what happened- it is in my eyes- I am trying to get it flushed out. (with a couple expletives in the mix.)

The woman stands and waits and watches as the man continues to rinse out his burning eyes.

The man pauses briefly as he wipes his face with a bandanna.

The woman: May I use that water?
The man: I am trying to wash my eyes.

Again the woman waits as she watches the man pick up the jug and continue his attempt at saving his eyes.

The woman: Are you done? Can I use your water to rinse off my car?
The man: Go get some inside- they have a lot of water.

The woman turns around- and I am serious- stamps her foot, clinches her fists and punches them toward the ground and grunts. She jumps in her car and stormily drives off. To find water. To wash off the gasoline on her black Mazda. Zoom Zoom.

I was astonished.

Apparently, if you get a little gasoline on your car, you should beg water off the man who is about to go blind.

Get Your's Now...

We've gotta take care of some business.

I've been super, super worried

about you guys.

Cold and flu season is fast approaching.

Please, Please
don't forget to get your flu shots

(then ask the nurse to put on

the Scooby Doo band-aid).

(hopefully that will guarantee that you won't get the flu)

However, the bad news is that I can pretty much

Guarantee: You WILL get a cold this winter.

(in a whisper)

Since the cold shot

has not been invented yet,

I have been searching for ways

to make the common cold

a little more bearable.

I've put in many late nights, early mornings

and I have even resorted

to working lunches

so you will not suffer like you did

last cold and flu season.

Remember how icky it was?

Believe me, I know how annoying it is

to go through a truckload of

kleenex EVERY day.

I am so sad I can't be there to make
hot soups and steam out some
lovely teas for you.

So I did the next best thing.
I begged the husband
to share his genius contraption with all of us
now that his cold is under control.

AND. HE. CONSENTED!!!

(this photo not actually the husband)

Does it get any more brilliant

(or hot)

than this?

I know.

So, when we meet on the street

with our "contraptions" securely fastened

atop our heads,

I hope you know that

I am carrying an extra roll of t.p.

with your name on it.

(quilted, 2-ply)

Just in case you run out.

I know you would do the same for me.

(let's all give a shout out to Nathan. Laughing at Life's Little Wedgies first male follower.

Or, at least the first to come out and declare himself.

You can find him on the sidebar under "Are you sure you want to follow me..."

Thanks Nathan.

I challenge all you other men to do the same. ahem-- husband.)

Rise and Shout!!

It's GAME DAY!!!

Do you know where your BYU Football is?

click on the "Y" for a link to season schedule

The Cougars are in Fort Worth taking on the Horned Frogs of TCU.

Go Cougs!!!

BYU Loses.

BYU 7 TCU 32

BUH-RILL-YANT!!!

In a recent post I proclaimed my love for the word "Brilliant".

Today I proclaim my love for these brilliant socks.

If you can't tell, they are blue on the bottom.

The darkest of all navy blues. For boys.

BRILLIANT!

Who can I thank for this creation?

I will start by thanking Target for selling them.

Then, I will thank the people in the sweatshop in Indonesia for manufacturing them.

And, finally, thanks to the husband for bringing home the bacon so I can be in the stores long enough to find brilliant socks.

THANK YOU, ONE AND ALL!

this makes my day...

Barta Explained

Sarah was wondering who Barta Heiner is. Some of you may not be wondering. And some of you don't care, but you will get the chance to know who she is here and now. Lucky, lucky Tuesday! (if you don't care and this is where you sign off, one quick thing before you go- hey, have a lovely day! Come back tomorrow when, hopefully, I will have something you might be interested in)

So, when I was at BYU I had an awesome roommate. Our apartment was way close to campus. We started out one fall semester living with a couple of psycho girls. I mean, REALLY PSYCHO!! We lived with them for about 2 weeks before we started searching diligently for a new place to live.

(former roommate-

if you are reading this

please correct any details,

or add anything I have omitted)

(former psycho roommates-

if you are reading this

I hope you got some help,

because you were really freaky!)

It was tricky, because we would have to sell our apartment contracts to someone so that we wouldn't be stuck paying a year's worth of rent on a contract where we didn't live anymore. We even had to have a student housing mediation to get out of the contract. The managers didn't want to let us sell our contracts. I think I already mentioned it was tricky.

Our contracts sold and we found a house far off-campus (BYU approved, of course) that was awesome! It was owned by a single guy who we became pretty good friends with. He had furnished the house pretty awesomely- the front room had a mustard/gold velvet sectional and mustard/gold velvet swivel rocking chairs. It was pure 60's bliss- and it wasn't even the 60's anymore. But, I will say that it was in pristine condition, so that is nice. (and I have some pretty good stories from living here)

Anyway, we had no t.v. We decided we wanted a t.v. So we scoured the classifieds and found a large t.v. for sale. We contacted the owner and made arrangements to go and have a look-see. (who uses that term? i did, just now for like maybe the second time in my life)

We arrived at the historic home in Provo to view this television set. There was a reddish-orange mustang in the driveway and large trees flanked the home. We were met at the door by a girl in her 20's. She was a student living at this address. We told her we had come to see the t.v. that was advertised. She said, "Oh, ok. Do you go to BYU? Do you know Barta?"

We said, "No."
She said, "Barta Heiner lives here. You know. Barta Heiner."
We still said, "No."

She proceeded to tell us about Barta. Apparently Barta is famous. Who knew? She is the head of the theatre department at BYU and has been in some productions. We did not know this. But then, out came Barta Heiner. We met her. We did not recognize her from Adam. We had never seen her productions. But, WE MET BARTA HEINER. We even bought her television. And we talked about it the rest of the school year.

So, my roommate and I returned home with the television we had purchased (I think we paid all of $13 for it) from Barta Heiner. You know. Barta Heiner. And what better to purchase from Barta Heiner, Movie Star and head of the theatre department, than a television? I know!
Meeting Barta + meeting her student boarder x buying her t.v. = an experience never to be forgotten.

Fast forward 7 years. One day I retrieved my mail from the mailbox and found that my April 2003 Ensign had been delivered that very day. I also discovered that it had a DVD inside- Finding Faith in Christ. Immediately I popped that DVD into the player and began watching a beautiful depiction of the Savior. All of a sudden, there on my very own television screen was Barta Heiner! depicting a diseased woman that the Savior heals. I was stunned. All I could think of doing was alerting my old roommate. It was crazy. I turned to the husband and said, "That is Barta Heiner!! You know. Barta Heiner!"

And to think that I saw her. In my very own home. On my very own television.




It was so fun to write about Barta that I think I might do it again. Would you like to hear more about Barta? I have another Barta story that you will either love or not.

wedgie tag

so, i have four tags waiting in my "to do" box. they have been like little pimples, festering and giving me discomfort everytime i think about them. one of the tags was from a LONG long time ago (sorry i'm so slow, sarah), one (from sarah) is from last week and two are a little less recent- like within the last two weeks (i think. again, sorry an eagles view and mechelle). anyway, i think it's high time i release all that pressure, pop those pimples, and get those tags taken care of so that i can go on with my life and not think about them all day long. and when i say all day long, i mean ALL (most) ALL DAY LONG!

so, presenting "Wedgie Tag" - which will kind of address all three tags rolled into one. but keep in mind i don't really know what i am doing here.

3 things that make me uncomfortable

1- confrontation
2- tight pants
3- of course, wedgies!


8 things i look forward to

1- a sweet nap
2- the husband's return home from work
3- date night
4- self-cleaning toilets
5- monster hugs and slimy kisses from the children
6- visits with friends and family
7- holidays
8- world peace


10 little-known facts about me

1- i won second place in the district spelling bee in fourth grade.
2- in high school i dated a guy who was an extra in "bill and ted's excellent adventure". you could totally see his arm in one of the scenes.
3- i love, love, LOVE hanging out with my family. (this, however, not a little-known fact. it is, rather, a BIG-known fact)
4- i have a talent for finding a tremendous bargain.
5- i had a very compassionate professor at BYU who waived one credit so that i could graduate a semester early.

6- i really prefer to type with no capitalizations at the beginning of sentences or for the proper noun "I". this is how i write all emails and comments, etc. it is so liberating to finally break it out on my very own blog. it's like i'm coming out of the closet.
7- the very first album that i owned was starship- knee deep in the hoopla- on cassette tape. this is the album with "we built this city" on it. i know you remember it. i got it for christmas 1985 along with a very cool, very large sony walkman.
8- i have a v-shaped scar on my tongue from biting it when i was a kid.
9- i have actually met barta heiner. i know! barta. heiner.
10- my family and i don't do much to celebrate hispanic heritage month.

the 5th picture in my #5 folder

pretty anticlimatic. this photo courtesy of oldest daughter. it was taken when little son was around 4 months old. isn't it a beautiful action shot? love that photographer daughter of mine. she truly captures the essence of the moment. (and props to her for the graco plug!)





ahhhhhh, what a relief. that huge pimple of a tag burden has been popped and all this wonderful pus of information has been oozed out into the blogosphere. (sorry to be so graphic)

i just tag whoever reads this post. go forth, tag someone else. (if you want) but, puh-leaze let me know if you participate. i would love to come over to your place and read more about YOU!!

tag over. 1, 2, 3- not it!

Rise and Shout!!

It's GAME DAY!!

Do you know where your BYU Football is?

click on the "Y" for a link to season schedule

The Cougars are in Provo celebrating HOMECOMING ---

taking on the Lobos of New Mexico.

Go Cougs!!!

BYU wins again!

BYU 21 New Mexico 3

Tradition

WARNING: this post may contain (at some point) some serious girl talk, so if you can't handle it you might want to click on a link- maybe the time out ones to the right. whatever you want.

Every General Conference my family has a giant Jeopardy tournament. It is the event of the 1/2 year. We look forward to it. We train for it. We take awesome notes on the Sunday sessions for it. And we have a trophy for the winning family that they may proudly display for 6 months until the next General Conference rolls around and the trophy is back up for grabs.

We gather exactly an hour after the second Sunday session has concluded. We eat a yummy dinner, visit, engage in a little cousin mayhem, and then begins the tourney. The husband has created a brilliant (I love that word, brilliant) computer-generated presentation that closely resembles the real Jeopardy game that he projects on the wall of our loft family room. Each family in turn chooses a category and point value and then answers the question, using their notes. It gets heated. We are a competitive family, what can I say. But I think we all love it. Oldest sister and her family were the victors. They took home the coveted trophy for the third time in a row.

However, this whole General Conference Jeopardy thing is not the point of my post. My point was that after dinner, my younger sister, my mom and myself were talking while the children played a rousing game of soccer in the backyard. Younger sister divulged that one of her two bras was damaged. The underwire had poked through. Now she must go bra shopping. Mom and I each gave opinions and strategies on how to work around this issue, including pulling out the wire for both cups. Then I shared that of my three bras (yeah, I only have three), the underwire has poked through on one, and another has been MIA for A LONG TIME, making it seem like i really only have one bra. Then I saw their faces fall and I could sense the concern they were feeling for me and my insufficient bra supply and the lost brassiere, I was able to relate the following happy news.

The husband, being the hero that he is, found my missing bra on Saturday. I was ecstatic. Then he told me where it had been. It had been prisoner in the toy box amidst the white high heel dress up shoes. Because that is where missing bras can usually be found. In the toy box, by the heels. I don't even want to know what the children were playing.

We had a good laugh. A girl laugh. Girls need those every now and then and there is no one better to share a good girl laugh with than your mom and sisters. I love these ladies.

Now, someday you may find yourself a bra short and I will offer you some invaluable advice: try looking in your toy box. Children like to play dress up and later you can have a good girl laugh about it with your mom or sister.

expectations and consequences

today my sister traveled all the way out to my side of the valley and the two of us- along with our broods of children- ventured out to shop, shop, shop. our goal was to find and purchase darling outfits at a specific store for my children for an upcoming family portrait to be housed in the lovely frame the husband commissioned for our anniversary. it was a lovely day. we were feeling good.

we arrived at the shopping destination and before we exited my van, the children received "the talk". you know- the one where you discuss expectations and consequences. we outlined the following:

• children are expected to stay with the moms at all times
• children will not run like crazy people through the stores
• children will be happy to be out and shopping
• children will take copious notes and observe the mothers who have perfected the fine art of shopping
• children may play at the splash pad in the center of the mall AFTER we have visited 14 stores
• children will receive a treat if they comply with all guidelines
• children who are non-compliant will not receive a treat

we sauntered through the first two stores. the children were relatively well-behaved. the mom found a dress for oldest daughter on clearance for $3.97. bargain.

eventually we made it to store #3- the store we came to scope out for the darling outfits. as we entered the store one of the sales ladies gave my sister the "are you seriously coming into MY store with all those kids?" look. still, we entered- with ALL THOSE KIDS! and we were greeted with darling outfits- on every wall and every rack. yay! this was going to be a breeze.

and then my children started to get crazy and out of control. they were hiding in the racks and fighting over who got to sit in the stroller and then they were making loud noises- all the pleasantries one would hope not to experience whilst one is attempting to construct the perfect ensemble for a family photo that will etch itself in the annals of history and enrich the lives of all those who look upon it.

if you have ever been shopping with someone, you will know that you can't look at something way cute and not say, "hey, look at this! how cute is it?" and then they say, "oh, that is sooooo cute."

pretty soon you hear, "hey, look at this!" to which you reply, "ahh, soooo cute!!"

yeah, we did this sort of fashion tennis match for a while till i began to pull articles of clothing together, all the while doing my best to discipline the two youngest and have them sit their time outs in front of the pink and sage leggings.

and guess what? no dressing rooms. so, i did what any self-respecting, modesty defending mother would do. i had them strip down, right there, making sure to confine them to the side of the store where the big shelves could hide them so that i could try on these cutest little outfits. and they really are the cutest little outfits.

after exchanging sizes and trading out tops or bottoms or both, the perfect outfits were decided upon and finalized and the children were re-dressed in the clothing in which we entered the store.

this whole time, there was no help from the sales associates. i found this strange. they watched us as we battled to maintain some semblance of order, pick out clothing, assign time outs, try on clothing, exchange pieces of clothing for a better match, stop a running child, shield naked daughters from onlookers, and then clothe them again. not a sales lady peep to be heard. not a "can i get you another size" or "are you finding everything ok?" or "can you please get that little boy who is running around in the purple velour beret?" NOTHING

i sent my sister, along with the unruly children, to the water playground while i stayed behind and purchased the clothing. i spent a ridiculous amount of money. (i can't tell you how much, cause the husband reads this stuff. but i will tell you that it was more than i should have spent.) but it will make a way cute family picture. i think.

so, i met up with my sis. we let the kids run wild. get wet. scream. and then, we decided to forget about the 11 remaining stores and go home while we were still a little sane.

but, my children forfeited their right to a treat. there was a little sadness, but they accepted that decision. and when their cousins received their treat, there was no complaining. they knew they had been a little silly.

next time, i will get a babysitter. and then maybe the sales ladies will accept me into their store without the icky looks. but, hello? ladies, if ya don't like to deal with kids, don't work in a kids clothing store.

one more thing that is bothering me today: why can't i just have one white shirt that doesn't get those unsightly yellow armpit stains?

Life B.S. and A.S.

Everyone should have satin pillowcases. Probably everyone does. I just bought some. Finally. After threatening to do so for a LONG time. I got them on clearance at Target- $2.48 for two. I know! Couldn't pass it up. Now when I decide to leave my hair curly for a day, I can wear it curly the next day again without washing it (TMI? sorry, but there are times I go, GASP, a day without washing my hair- but only if it was straight the day before. Disgusting, I know. Necessary, yes) (But I do shower EVERY day. K?)

Life B.S. (before satin) was a wash-the-hair-every-day affair if I chose to stay curly. Now, I can go TWO WHOLE DAYS IN A ROW with curly hair. So liberating. The satin makes it possible for my curls to still look great- not crunched and smooshed and all bedhead looking. I am loving life A.S.

A whole new world is open to me.

And now I think I gotta get some satin sheets.

Head Service

I have made a resolution. Starting yesterday, I am determining to do more for others.

I often have this type of thought creep into my head: "I should call so and so" or "I need to drop by whatshernames" or "After I get done making these cookies, I should take a plate over to the neighbor's" etc, etc, ETC. I am ALWAYS thinking of things I should do. But a lot of the time that's where it ends- with just the thought.

This one time, like 3 or more years ago, when one of my friends was pregnant, we were in a group setting where we were talking about projects we needed to get done around the house and she mentioned that she still needed to clean the cement splatters from off her back windows from when her house was being built and stuccoed. Right that minute I determined to go and clean her windows the next morning. So, the next morning I woke up, gathered the necessary window cleaning supplies, and went and knocked on her door. And waited. Then I rang her doorbell. And waited. She didn't answer. I walked back to my car and loaded the supplies and the children and returned home.

Then againg the following morning I made the trek back to her doorstep, determined to complete the task this time. Again I knocked. I waited. I rang. I waited. Again, no answer. So, dejected, I loaded the necessaries back into my car.

I didn't go back the next day. I just let it go.

I just re-read all this and it seems like the next logical/ tragical sentence should be- "I never got the chance to do it or anything else for her, because tragically the next day she and her whole family were swept from the earth in a ginormous tornado and I will never see her again in this life. Why didn't I follow those promptings?" Yeah, it is nothing like that, it's just that now she has moved to cooler and greener pastures- just an hour and a half up the freeway. I don't think I even ever told her about this. Maybe I should have. Maybe just telling her about it would have meant something to her. I don't know. Maybe she is reading this today and now she knows what I almost did for her. Again, I don't know.

My point? I always have these thoughts and impressions. If everyone I know only knew how many times I perform an awesome service for them in my head, they would feel really loved and looked after. But, I guess head service has no real lasting merit. So that's why, starting yesterday, I am actually determined to see my head service to fruition. All those good intentions that I have? I will act on them. And this resolution feels good.

And don't be surprised if I show up one morning on your front doorstep, bucket/cookies/book/whatever in hand ready to do whatever it is that we talked about yesterday.

Rocks on my porch...

Saturday night I found these on my porch:

What is that? I wondered.

But it was dark and I couldn't see clearly.

I decided it must be one of the children's brilliant creations.

I loved going outside this morning

to see what was sitting so quietly near the threshold.

The children have been busy. A whole rock family.

Generations, even.

I was delighted to see that there were rocks of all shapes and sizes.

And most important:

rocks of all colors!

I couldn't help but smile.

Have you registered for Time Out for Couples

or

Time Out for Women and Girls?

Pre-registration ends soon and ticket prices will increase.

Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!

You don't want to miss this!

Rise and Shout!!

It's GAME DAY!!

Do you know where your BYU Football is?

click on the "Y" for a link to season schedule

The Cougars are in Logan taking on the Aggies of Utah State.

Go Cougs!!!

BYU Victory!

BYU 34 USU 14

The Miracle of the Sabbath

The weatherman has forecasted a high temperature of only 85 degrees and a chance of rain on Sunday, therefore, we shall read from the B of M (Book of Meteoroligist) to see just what the prophecy contains:


1. And it came to pass that on the first day of the tenth month of the eighth year of the reign of the Dubya, that a prophecy was made throughout the land. And the greater part of the people marveled and said: How shall we know that such a thing will come to pass? Show us a sign and we will know of a surety that these things are true.

2. And the lesser part of the people, believing in the words of the prophecy, rejoiced and cried with one voice saying: We shall welcome this day and glory in the words of the prophet for we know that all things will work together for our good.

3. And the people listened as the prophet declared that on the Sabbath the miracle should come to pass.

4. But I and my house were not prepared and we did wonder at the words which were spoken. Therefore we did recall the days of our existence, even those that were in the third month of the eighth year of the reign of the Dubya, insomuch that we did go to our closets and make ready our raiment that we might find ourselves blameless at the coming of the signs.

5. And those of the house of my family did again hear the words of the prophet, for they were repeated at five, six and ten. For he did declare that the people should prepare themselves. He admonished them to go with soberness on the coming Sabbath and have joy in the cooler temperatures, even a temperature of five and eighty, the likes of which had not been seen in all the land for a space of many months. And he did also declare that the people might receive moisture, even in the form of water falling to the earth from the heavens.

6. Now the more part of the lesser part of the people did wonder at the news, for on the first day of the tenth month the temperature had risen to two and one hundred, and they did marvel that the land might cool and provide comfort for them and their families. And behold, they did make plans to go out and glory in the day.

7. But I and my family did covenant to keep the Sabbath Day holy and refrain from making merry that we might be blessed above all others.

8. Now behold, the people look forward with steadfastness to the Sabbath with great wonder and do search the heavens for the signs which the prophet hath testified shall come unto the people on this day.

9. And thus we see, that the righteousness of the people doth bring about great and marvelous things pertaining to their happiness. For when a people doth endure a summer with soberness and long suffering, blessings are poured out upon their heads; insomuch as there is not room to receive it.







*concept inspired by a post here

Letter from Momma Cat

Dear Lady,

I hear you have been talking about me. Even posting about me on your blog. That's just sad. Really really sad. I thought you were a good Christian woman.

That's fine. I've taken my babies. We've found another place to live. A place where my kittens can grow up with morals and values. Something that, judging by your example, your shed can't provide. And, your shed isn't all that. Come on, have you been out there lately? The door doesn't even close all the way. Oh, and your dog could beef up a little bit.

You think it's all ok to go on and on about how you don't like cats? Did you ever stop to think if cats like you? Miss high and mighty. I can raise these 3 babies to adulthood in a under a year (on my own, without that no good tom cat) and have them out of my house- doesn't it take you like, what, 18 years? It's ok, two can play at this game, just wait till you read what I have to say about you on MY blog.

And by the way, mow your lawn.


I'm outta here,
Momma Cat