I can't sleep tonight. My mind is racing. The husband has been undergoing some pretty major stuff in the past 9 months. And tonight I can't get my mind off the biopsy that he will be having in the next few days to determine what the mass in his chest is. This, after he had the tail of his pancreas and spleen removed in April, which contained a malignant tumor.
I have been doing pretty well up to this point in remaining positive and not allowing myself to think about all of this longer than is necessary. But tonight, in the stillness of my house, cancer is screaming at me. And it can't be ignored. All of the what if's and what will I do's are racing through my head.
We have witnessed miracles and felt of God's love throughout this process and I know that the Lord is in control. I know that whatever happens will be what is supposed to happen. I know that our Heavenly Father is aware of us and our desires.
I sure do love that husband of mine. And I sure do hope he is around a long time. Because I don't want to go to graduations, missionary farewells and weddings without him.
Things will work out just as they should. In this I have faith.