Thursday, April 30, 2009

Just So You Know

this post originally published November 5, 2008

If you open your refrigerator and it is really smelly (I'm talkin' P to the Yew!), it could be the furry rice that has spent a good portion of last month chillin' on the top shelf. You should remove it from the fridge. Chances are, there are additional unidentifiable items at the way back.

If you decide to wash the container the rice is in instead of throwing it away, which was your first instinct, you should take a few precautions. If you decide to dispose of the fuzzy rice down the garbage disposal, it would be nice if you had a plunger just for your kitchen, because it is possible that the rice may perhaps probably clog up your disposal. If you don't have a plunger specifically designated for kitchen use only, you will have to use your bathroom plunger, and a gallon or more of bleach. Because you are going to gross out just thinking about it afterwards.

And when you flip the switch to the insinkerator (that's what mine says on it, does yours?) you will be mesmerized by the gentle swirling motion of the water and bits of rice and the slurping sound of a non-functioning insinkerator. And then you will snap back to reality and notice that nothing is draining. This is when you will have to grab your bathroom plunger. And do your best not to think of where it has been. And you will be way bummed that you are babysitting someone's kids. So you can't run to the store and get a new, clean plunger- designated for kitchen use only. Be sure to block out a half hour of your day, have your secretary hold your calls and wear a sweat band. And you will close your eyes and start plunging. Like you never plunged before. And then, probably most importantly, don't forget to cover up this little thing

because once you start plunging, all that chopped up fuzzy rice will come spewing right out at ya. After a few plunges you will get a brain and realize you could avoid all the spray. This is when you will put your big blue mixing bowl in front of it in order to divert the icky sludge. Be sure to plunge long and hard. And when your biceps are burning, don't forget to spend a few minutes working on the drain on the other side of the sink. You'll have to remove the bowl so that the plunger can work undisturbed, but that's ok because this side doesn't spit back.

And then you will turn on your garbage disposal and everything will drain beautifully. And you will want to do a herkie, right there in your kitchen, so that your fridge and oven can witness your awesomeness. And you will feel triumphant because you didn't have to call the husband or a plumber. And that's when you break out the bleach and then write "kitchen plunger" on your shopping list.


Emmy said...

Lol! Too funny. We had garbage disposal problems when we moved into our house, it was not draining at all, bubbling up into the other sink.
We tried to fix it ourselves and it worked.. a big mess in the process due to lack of thinking ahead at times. And we still have not nor want to identify what came out of the drain that was clogging it.

Loralee and the gang... said...

That must have been an AWEsome container that you rice was in. . . hahaha. I did that once, with similar nasty results. But I didn't use the toilet plunger. I just made my husband take apart the plumbing under the sink. Lucky for me (but not him) he was home at the time.

wonder woman said...

I am BLOWN AWAY. I think what we have all learned from this is that NO tupperware container is worth a plunger in your sink.

I wish we had it on video. I have a feeling it would be quite entertaining.