Friday, July 25, 2008

Golden Thinking Time

Third grade teachers should know how to correctly pronounce words, right? While I was showering today I was remembering my third grade teacher and how she always pronounced “orange” incorrectly. She called it “oinj”. I think that is how you would spell it. Maybe not. I do my best thinking in the shower- the best 7 minutes of my day.

Let me take you through my shower today:
Before even going upstairs, I lay down the ground rules for the kids:
No going outside while I am in the shower.
No answering the phone or door.
No TV.
No markers.

All set and ready for my 12:37 shower. (Yippee! Not quite one o’clock yet, I am already doing better than yesterday!) I turned on the water and it was too hot, so as I adjusted the temperature I realized that all I needed was to turn on the cold- it came out warm anyway. It was so refreshing. That is what is great about living in Arizona- no need to even turn on the water heater in the summer.

As I began shampooing my hair I glanced at the bottle and did a little inner laugh because the husband always makes jokes out of that bottle of Pantene and the foreign language description of “Hidritacion Diaria”. How does one coax their husband’s head out of the gutter? But then I remember an episode of The Muppet Show where a salesman asks if a customer is interested in his shampoo, and the customer responds that he doesn’t want SHAMpoo, he wants REALpoo. So, I resign myself to the fact that even when the husband is not in the shower with me, he is in the shower with me.

Coming out of the Pantene reverie, middle daughter enters the bathroom and this is the conversation that ensues:
Middle Daughter: Mom, my sister just found a bug and it is hungry.
Me: k, it will have to make its own lunch. Put it outside.
Middle Daughter: It’s ok, Mom, she put it in the plant so it could eat.
Me: Oh, good.

While rinsing out the conditioner, which also had a version of the shampoo description printed upon it, I begin to make decisions what I will wear upon completion of this lovely, lukewarm shower. I settle on yoga pants because a) I need to do laundry and b) doesn’t that sound comfortable? But then I wonder, does one have to do yoga to be in the yoga pants club? I tivo’d a few yoga episodes that were on PBS, but never did them. Does that count- it's on the tivo if I ever need to do it. And then, I realized that if I were to do those yoga sessions, I would look much better in those pants.

About this time, my little son enters and says something about helping him with something. Parting the shower curtain, I see a balled up fist encapsulated in an inside-out black glove, no fingers poking through. “Can you help me, Mom?” I send him out to ask his sister, telling him I am not quite done and my hands are wet. Turning off the water a minute later, he toddles back in and smiles, “You all done!” As he holds his gloved hand up to my face to help him fix it.

Shower time= golden thinking time.


Chris said...

In my defense, I don't always make jokes about that shampoo. I'm a good guy, honestly. I just think its funny that people would put "Hidritacion Diaria" in their hair.

...And I have a clean mind. Well, most of the time. Or at least as clean as "Hidritacion Diaria."

Funny post dear. I love you.

Shannon said...

SO, what did the bug actually get for lunch- a priceless houseplant or a bush in the front yard? All I know is that you're right, you've got to take and enjoy what ever time you get to think all by yourself. It doesn't happen nearly often enough. Enjoy your weekend! Oh, BTW- your kiddos have gotten HUGE! Middle daughter was just a baby (as in a few days) the last time I saw her. Wow!

Sarah said...

My shower last night was thinking about your blog. See my blog for continuing thoughts! Highly amusing. :)

heatherwalker said...

When I had more sisters around, we would always scare each other when we were in the shower. For example, I'd finish getting ready while my sister shower. And then I would pretend to leave, but I wouldn't. I'd hang around for a bit. Then I'd climb on top of the toilet and peek over the top of the shower curtain and yell something at them.

It's really quite funny.

trublubyu said...

Shannon- it was a houseplant. Can't find that bug now- it's probably crawling around my house now. Oh, well. I hope it found some nutrition in that plant's soil.

Sarah- you bring up a great point about the honesty thing. By honest, I mean I'm going to tell my life the way it is- so the good along with the bad. I loved your post on your site. Love those 1 a.m. showers.

Heather- I used to do something similar with my sisters, but I would usually pour ice water on them. I know, how mean.

uniquelynat said...

k so i left a comment after chris. but for some reason it isn't on here. what i said was....great post! what makes it even more funny is the fact that i can see all of these events in vivid detail. i can picture your house and children & you in the shower TRYING to enjoy some solitude....but not quite succeeding. very cute!

Chris said...

Nat - I hope you can't picture my wife in the shower...she is even stingy with me on that front...