Ahem. Ahem! AHEM!!
Can I have your attention please? I have a couple matters of business to address.
First of all, I have an in-grown toenail (the second toe on my left foot) and I don’t feel that I have received proper sympathy from those who are already aware of the situation. So, I am opening it to a broader audience and I am begging for your compassion on this issue.
I know that many of you have had an in-grown toenail and many of you have not. For those of you who have, you know the pain and agony that I am enduring. And for those of you who have not, I am sure you can understand when I tell you that this is excruciating to bear. My only prayer is that you never have to endure such a wound. But, I in the event that you do, I want to convey to you that if you come to me and share your burden, I WILL BE THERE FOR YOU! I will give you the proper amount of sympathy and understanding. I will find you an open-toe shoe that would be appropriate for the toe that is experiencing the ache, and I will let you talk about it until you feel you have sufficiently expressed your burden.
Mine was the sleep of the bitterly disturbed last night. Impossible it was to find a sleeping position that would benefit the toe. What I think the problem is would be this: a couple years ago I broke my toe- the third one on my left foot. (Although the doctor said it was just a contusion:
con·tu·sion (plural con·tu·sions) n
bruise: an injury to the body in which skin and bone are not broken but damage is done to tissues under the skin, causing a bruise
I never agreed with that diagnosis) When I had this "contusion" I completely babied that toe. I was extra careful with it, splinted it up, and made sure that it didn't have to work too hard when I walked. Understandably, the other toes had to pick up the slack.
So, I personally believe that my second toe is making an attempt at gaining an equal amount of attention as third toe. Let me tell you, it is working. I have given it mounds of attention. I have focused on it every step of the way.
I do know that this will repair itself and my life will return to semi-abnormal, however, in the meantime- just know that I am suffering.
I am sorry, that is all the time we have. This meeting will stand adjourned. We will take a short recess and reconvene tomorrow morning to discuss Item #2.
Please be prompt, as latecomers will not be admitted.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Ahem. Ahem! AHEM!!