A Modest Proposal

I just received this. Thought I would share. Please don't be jealous- just be happy for me.

Dear Stephanie,

First (I like to do most things in firsts, seconds, and thirds), let me apologize for getting back to you in over world record time. Not the norm with me, let me assure you. I have been quite busy with the games. I am sure you understand. Now that the games are over and I have a little time to catch my breath, I just want to say that I loved hearing from you and love that I could spend these last two weeks with you. And, of course I remember you. I look forward to every other year so that I can share it all with you. I know you have been watching me, and I am flattered.

Second, I am completely crushed to know that you are married. However, I do know the husband and believe you have made a fine choice. I believe that with my schedule, I could not offer you all that you deserve. But, I did leave you a message on the jumbo-tron. You would have to go back and watch the tapes of volleyball, swimming, soccer, equestrian, archery, badminton, bmx and wrestling and pick out every third letter that appears next to a consonant in words that are two syllables and hyphenated to decipher my proposal.

Third, I loved the games this year. They were wonderful. So many worthy competitors. Many who put in years and years of training and dedication to win my medals. I did give many away. But, I assure you, my biggest medal belongs to you. Don't worry about all those who are vying for my attention, you will always have it. You are my best and truest lady.

You know those opening and closing ceremonies? They were all for you. The ladies dancing with the bells on their dresses symbolize the bells of our love. The flame that burns is for you. The flags fly for you. The athletes are for you. Everything I do, I do it for you. You are my golden girl. If I could have you bronzed, I would.

The silver lining to all of this? I will return in 18 months (February 12, 2010) and I know that you will be right there, watching. And, maybe, do you think you could make it to London in 2012? I would really love to see you there. And I will play our anthem just for you- at every commercial break.

Yours forever,
The Olympics


P.S. I'm glad you liked the hand sanitizer.