Thursday, September 25, 2008

Come, Swap Howdies

I love reading people's words written from the depths of their souls typed onto the pages of the Internet. I love the wit, the warmth, the wisdom, the wonder that is another's life. I love to catch a glimpse of what their everyday may or may not be. I am inspired when I come across blogs of human beings caught between mortality and eternity. And yet, at times, I feel like I am intruding on moments too personal for me, a stranger, to even be reading.

I find myself wanting to sit with them. Learn more about them. Connect in a way that may be only possible through a blog. Most times I read their thoughts and move on. Sometimes I visit their comment page. And even less often, I leave a comment- I am especially hesitant if I don't know the person. (I tend to comment on the blogs of those I know, or the blogs of those who comment on my little blog.) This is ironic, because I would love to hear from those who visit my little neck of the Internet woods, yet I feel shy to "swap howdies" with all the bloggers I stalk, especially if they have a long list of comments because I feel like my meager offering is swallowed up in the ocean of words.

Here is my problem: I just don't know what to say when I comment. Sometimes it is obvious how I should respond, but other times I am at a loss. Mostly I am just a lame commenter. I just can't find my humor or wisdom when I need it, so instead of sounding ridiculous and un-witty, I pass on the comment page. Oh, the pressure. Pathetic, I know. Honest? Yes. And then sometimes, I wonder if they would really even want to hear from me. Hello? That makes no sense to me because of my own personal feelings on desiring to hear from others when they are in my wedgie neighborhood.

I will find a way to reconcile all of this. And when I do, you bet I will write about it. In the meantime, I am wondering this: what are your expectations or hopes regarding comments and commenters? Do comments matter to you? And what compels you to comment or not? Please don't keep your comments to yourselves, because I know there are a few of you who are reading right now who have never joined in the discussion. Come on, comment- you don't even have to raise your hand first. We're pretty laid-back around here.

16 comments:

Me said...

Okay..so here's how I do it (as one of your "I don't know you personally blog stalkers")...When I find a blog that I'm interested in, I watch it for a few posts. If I'm still interested in visiting again, I leave them a comment letting them know that I am or have been lurking, how I found them, and warn them that I will be back. If that encourages them to visit me and comment, I continue to visit and I continue to comment. If they go without responding, I take to not commenting and do my best to not lurk. Although..that doesn't always happen.

My reason for doing it this way is, the fact that I don't particulary like lurkers. It's okay, I understand, but I would much rather have people just tell me they are there. Even if I make the choice to not visit them or return the commenting favor, at least I know who to suspect if my stuff goes missing in the middle of the night. ;)

carolyn said...

Hello . . . you worry about not having a witty response? I wish I had your way with words. I too, often look at others blogs, but only sometimes leave a comment. I think most people enjoy comments left on their blogs, witty or not. I sometimes feel that my posts are not very commentable,(is that a word?) but it is still nice to feel connected. Love reading your blog!

Shannon said...

I'm like you, I love people to comment even if I don't know them. Since I like comments, I try to comment frequently on the blogs of my friends. I, too, am hesitant to comment on the blogs of others I don't know. I like the suggestion by "me" above. Read a few posts and then make a comment introducing yourself. Not a bad idea. I wouldn't mind if someone did that on mine, so why should I worry about doing so myself?

hollylynn said...

i usually say, "hope you don't mind my blurking, but i just love your blog and hope you don't mind that i'll be stopping in!"

so...

hope you don't mind my blurking, but i just love your blog and hope you don't mind that i'll be stopping in!

*MARY* said...

I think you know how much I'm infatuated with commments, they feed my soul. My comment box is filled with me begging and pleading for a comment. I used to NEVER leave comments on blogs of people I didn't know until my first blog stalker came out and I realized it's a wonderful feeling as blog owner to have people you don't even know interested in what you have to say. So now there's no stopping me, I comment like the wind.

hwalk said...

Comments always sort of boggle my mind. What do I say? If I have something, I say it. If I can't think of something, I move on. I sort of don't have a ton of time right now to comment a lot.

But I love comments. It's how I gauge if a post is succesful or not, honestly. That and page views.

I always figure you can't go wrong with compliments.

Mechelle said...

I am like hwalk if I have nothing to say, then I move on, but if there is something that is interesting to me or something I can relate with then I'm all over it and the I probably say too much.

I too, love comments. Maybe it's because it helps me to feel that what I have to say is worth saying, and that as a mom that would love to linger a little longer and "talk" out our thoughts, and frustrations, and just life in general with other women, it helps to fill that void.

Sarah said...

I love your blog, and my sister enjoys it too. I like comments on my blog from people I know and like. However, I have had some people (really only one person) find my blog, and comment - not about my posts at all - about how I was doing - which is really email-worthy. Then, I tried to link over to her blog - and it was an "invitation-only" blog. So I did not post her comments. Perhaps I'm mean, but I figure if you're going to comment, you should at least let me see your blog.
So Steph, I love your comments, and you are welcome to comment to me anytime. BTW, in-laws are in the process of getting their house declared "totaled." Thanks for asking.

trublubyu said...

thanks for chiming in! it looks like we are all looking for a little validation from others at times.

big_smartmouth said...

i am that annoying sister in relief society that is constantly raising her hand and has at least 3 comments per lesson. i always feel like i'm taking over the lesson, but, somehow, i always get sisters telling me they enjoyed what i had to say or the teacher telling me she was happy i kept the conversation going. so, i guess it is the same in the blogging world. even if the blogger doesn't need to hear what you have to say, maybe one of their avid readers does. and, even if your comment isn't the most insightful thing, isn't it nice, for the blogger, to know their voice is not being lost in the wind (does the internet have wind??)? let them know they are being heard.

wesley's mom said...

I love it when anyone (anyone who's not a weird meany) comments on my blog.

I often want to comment on other blogs but I don't want to seem like a stalker or even worse, like you, I am afraid I am not witty enough.

Wizzard_MoM said...

I'm liking your blog, and wish that I knew how to let you know. But seeing, now that you have a "lot" of comments mine will probably go on the way side and not be noticed. But you come across as a very "interesting, and funny person" -- I felt like you wrote this post just for me. Keep up your good work. By the way you have a cute family.

mom and dad said...

ok, third daughter, I love your blogs and at times I even comment, but reguardless, I always find what you have to say of interest, but then you have always been an interesting person and I love you!

LAAF mom

mom and dad said...

Life is tough in San Francisco! Love Bob

The Kartchners said...

I stumbled onto your blog while bored at work and was instantly entertianed. You sound like a fun person I would love to get to know. I will be blurking for awhile...

trublubyu said...

hi to the kartchners! i am so glad you stopped by. come back often!