Friday, October 24, 2008

Did I ever tell you about the time that...

So, here's the working situation of the husband: he works for an awesome company that is based in Provo, Utah. The husband heads up the Phoenix office. He has one whole co-worker that shares the Phoenix office with him. She is awesome. Being that they are the only two in Phoenix while the office in Provo is stacked with very cool people, they have different opportunities than those in the main office. And sometimes they miss out on fun stuff. And probably they miss out on some drama.

In my daily readings last week, I came across the post of a Provo office co-worker of the husband. This co-worker was reminiscing on the zany antics of the folks up in the UT. All those silly pranks and practical jokes (are pranks and p.j.'s the same thing? dunno.)

In reading the post I started feeling a little sad for the husband. Because he is a huge fan of the art of the practical joke. As am I. The great thing about a p.j. is that it inspires the victim to do one better. We can't resist them. We love to engage in them. And we compete for the title of Ultimate P.J. Master. But since the husband is in Phoenix, he misses out on the office shenanigans. Poor guy. There's not a lot of feasibility for the anonymity of a great p.j. here in this Phoenix office.

So I have spent a lot of time feeling sad for the husband. And then it hit me: I need to be feeling sad for my cute self. Because at least he has an office. Whereas, I do not have an office. Therefore (follow my math here):

Stay at Home Mom - Office = No Practical Joke Opportunities.

As I have been wallowing in this self-pity for a day and a half, I have come to the realization that since marriage and children, I have become the butt of ALL practical jokes. And I must list some of the funniest p.j.'s that the husband and children have pulled over on me. So here goes (and I am going to incorporate the bullets here).
  • The time all the dishes in the house were dirty and left in the sink for me to clean. And then when it happened again the next day.
  • The time the washable marker on the wall turned out to be NOT washable.
  • The time I found my good silverware in the garden.
  • The time oldest daughter cut the pony tail holder out of middle daughter's hair along with a little hair.
  • The time I couldn't find one of the children in Kohl's.
  • The time an entire pack of Orbit gum went through the washer and dryer and almost an entire summer wardrobe had to be discarded.

(I told you these were pretty funny. Continuing...)

  • The time the toilet seat was left up and it was late at night and I got up to take care of some business.
  • The time all the toys in the toybox were emptied on the floor of the loft and I was able to step on a few.
  • The time I got home from a meeting and the house was empty and then I realized that everyone was just hiding from me.
  • The time my bra was found in the toybox.
  • The time little son was trying to get The Jungle Book dvd out of its case and snapped that disc right in half. (It doesn't get funnier than that.)
  • The time middle daughter was playing with her Ariel Barbie in a bucket of water in the middle of the kitchen floor and there was more water on the floor than in the bucket.

Like I said, one of the best things about the p.j. is that it can inspire a person to come back with a bigger and better practical joke. So, all I have to say is Family, you have come up with some crazy stuff, but you better watch out- Mom's thinking up some doozies. And then the joke will be on YOU!

Editor's note: this sounds like the post of a disgruntled housewife. Not the case. I just thought it was a funny concept, so I went with it. Wouldn't trade the jokes for the world.


Shorty said...

Well, I must compliment you first by saying you have a much better sense of humor than I!!! Kudos to you! Perhaps I could laugh in hind site about some of those things, but I certainly wouldn't have found most of them humorous at the time they happened. That's when I find that the joke is usually on me...when I don't laugh at something, get all tizzied up, and the people around me have a field day laughing at how I look with my not-so-jovial behaving self. I need to adopt your style!!!

Thanks for the great post!

Wizzard MoM said...

Holy COW!! We've had some of the same Practical Jokes pulled on us. I LOVE THIS POST!!! Your humor enlivens my day. I look forward to reading your posts. Keep 'em comin'.

Nathan said...

That IS a long list. I'm sure it only scratches the surface too.

I'm glad my post got you into doozie thinking mode. Oh, and ...

Psst. *whispers* If you ever need help getting the husband on the office end of things, just let me know. I'm a state away, but I'm sure we could think of something from a distance.

Chris said...

Nathan - are you saying you want my help in practical jokes or to get me with one? If the latter, be careful. She did say after all, i'm a "huge fan of the art of the practical joke".

i have perfected it in many a case...

Chris said...

Great post dear. And yes, I'll help with the dishes more frequently because of it. :)

Jae said...

Holy Cow, girl...did you really write this post at 5:02 am...i can't get past that!

Me said...

You are a better woman than I. I don't think I would find all of these p.j.'s all that funny. In fact I know that I don't at my house! Kudos to you my friend! Way to see the good in it all.

P.S. How many times have I told you that you are Hilarious or you make me laugh? I dare ya to count them. I just can't get enough. You always make me smile, and I save your posts for last when I check my reader! Keep it comin' girlie!

Sarah said...

I love it when there are the few "mom" moments to retaliate. Aaron was tossing Audrey into the air the other day - a little too close to the dining room chandelier - and Owie! The next day, when he got home, he asked how she was. :) "She just keeps crawling around in circles..." Mom's have too many p.j.s played on them - but the revenge is sweet!