Wednesday, August 12, 2009

I Could Really Use Your Help

I am teaching a class on parenting tomorrow night for my ward enrichment meeting and just thought of what a valuable resource I have in my blog- right at my fingertips. I wish I had thought of this sooner!

Would you please give me input?

What are some of your thoughts on the importance of parenting?

What are some of your best strategies? Tips? Scriptures?

What are some of the best words you have heard from church leaders or anyone for that matter, on parenting?

What are some things you would like to know about parenting?

What do you find difficult about parenting?

If you are a single parent, please give me some input. Where could you use support from others? How does your parenting as a single parent differ from that of a traditional household?

If your children are grown, how do you continue to parent your grown children? How do you Grandparent?

What do you love about being a parent?

What scares you about being a parent?

What ways have you found to deal with and discipline children and their differing personalities?

Any other thoughts? Suggestions?

Please, help me out. I know you all have something to offer that could enhance the information I have gathered! And just think, the more of us who share, the better! We can all benefit from each others comments.


A Musing Mom (Taylorclan6) said...

Learn to laugh at yourself and don't take everything so seriously.

Swallow your pride and seek help when you need it.

Stop telling young mother's to "enjoy them while their young." They are doing the best they can. This only adds to their guilt.

Every child is different. You can't treat them all the same. Try to be as fair as possible.

Let me know what others have to say and ask. I'd love to know. I'm too proud to ask for support.

GRAMEE said...

on grandparenting:
when they are at my house their parents rules still apply.
except when it comes to gramees treats, i get to decide if they get a treat or not. if gramee says it is ok.. and it is consumed here, then it is ok. no questions asked.

the only things that go home are tic tacks agreed between parents and me.
thats the only thing i take to their home also.. unless it is a special occasion.

lagirl/sweet tea said...

I am on child #4 and I've used this successfully with each of them, heck I do it myself...when a problem arises teach them to ask themself, "How does this rank on a scale of 1 - 10?", with #1 being not very important to #10 being death or serious illness. Most of life falls somewhere in-between. You teach this skill by making a game out of it when kids are around 5 yr old. Ask questions and let them rank the problem, ie 1) you can't find your game
2) you can't have a snack
3) your sister has burned her finger
etc. etc.
At first they may need some help in ranking problems, but they'll soon catch on and it's a great way to teach problem solving and reacting appropriately to problems.

Annette Lyon said...

I'm past the baby stage, so I'm facing new challenges--the ones that aren't so black and white as is the kid fed and diapered and napped.

The biggest thing I'm trying to learn right now is to focus on each child's strengths.

To be sure they hear compliments far more often than they hear criticisms, because it's the criticisms they'll remember, not the praise.

To let them each chase after their own dreams, even if it means it's not MY dream for them.

To make sure we don't skip the important things like daily family prayer and scripture study and FHE, because it's those little tiny daily things that build the spiritual armor that'll get them through the hard times.

To make sure that the lines of communication are wide open--that they know they can come to talk to me any time, about any thing. So far, so good--my three oldest have felt like they can do that, and I'm really hoping that trend continues, because as they get older and the further into the teenage years we go, the bigger the issues will become. I want to be sure they feel that they can come to me with more complex and even scary (from a parental standpoint) issues.

And then you send them off and pray your guts out that they'll make the right choices.

Randibee said...

I think the most important thing I've learned in being a parent is to give your children your time. the dishes, housework, even meetings (sometimes) can wait. Especially one-on-one time, if you have more than one child.

And give them opportunities to shine. Help them find their talents and allow them to pursue what THEY love, not what you WANT them to love. For example: If they hate playing the piano, but love playing the drums, then let them play the drums, and quit the piano lessons.

Another thing: we all hear about how to parent young children, but now that I have teenagers, there isn't alot of people who can tell me about how to parent a teenager. Find other people who have kids the same ages as your kids, and stick together.

Get involved in your kids' lives. Take an interest in what they are doing, and who their friends are, and open your home to their friends. Be the house where all of the neighborhood kids want to hang out.

Take your kids places--the zoo, the park, museums, storytime, etc. Educate them.

Have consistent family prayer, scripture study, and FHE.

Being a good parent means going out once a week with your spouse. I firmly believe this.

Not that I'm a good parent, but these are some things I have learned.

Heather (wife to Dave, mom to Jenna and Adam) said...

I appreciate the first comment about 'enjoying them while they are young'. Sometimes I just wish they would magically be potty trained an be able to feed themselves!

I like to remember to enjoy parenting. Think about how fun it is and enjoy your kids and your family. This goes along with 'wholesome recreation' that we read about in The Family Proclamation.
My husband and I ofter pow-wow about the what-ifs. We only have small children, but we have discussed what we plan to do if different situations come along. It is so important to be united with your partner in parenting- don't let your kids think they can come between that.
Something that my husband told me he learn from his parents, that has always stuck with me, is that our marriage is #1. I was worried that he wouldn't love me as much as our new baby (silly, I know) but he reassured me that I will always be his top priority. Kinda goes back to the 'If momma ain't happen, ain't no body happy' ideal.

Good Luck!

Burton Family said...

I am too lazy to retype this quote:

but that is my 2 cents on being a good mom. It comforts me when I start comparing myself to other women.

I'm sure you'll do great...I really do miss the ward! Especially the enrichment activities.

Shannon said...

I think all the comments are great. SOmetimes I wish I could redo the small child stage- not because I loved it so much but because life and experience has helped me to kow what I could have done better. The thing I keep reminding myself is that Heavenly Father sent these particular children to me at this particular stage of my life. He knew my strengths and weaknesses and must have thought I'd do ok with what I had at any given time. I'm sure I'll feel the same about the teenage years when we're all through with that, too. Like President Hinckley used to say- Just do your best, that's all anyone can ask. If you're doing your best and including prayer, scriptures, and real effort on your part you can feel confident that you have done all that is asked of you.

Good luck. I would love to be there as part of your class.

Cynthia said...

Lots of good advice here!

I worry a lot about whether or not I'm doing a good enough job. I know that's not unique!

My husband didn't grow up actively in the Church much past Primary age. His parents, though inactive, always set a good standard for personal conduct and behavior through their example. They are very good people and I love them and the son they raised.

Where they fell down a little was by not following up the example with active teaching. Some of the kids have had avoidable struggles because they didn't figure out the 'why' we need to act/behave a certain way. Example alone isn't enough.

The only reason it does any good at all for me to notice that is so that I'll remember to not only try and set a good example but to also give my kids context as to WHY it matters. I know this is where the gospel comes into play. It helps us teach them not just the 'what' but the 'whys' that make it worth it to do what we should. Connecting the dots for the kids I guess.

wonder woman said...

I personally disagree with A musing mom -- I love being reminded to enjoy the young children stage. It makes me slow down and take pleasure in the small moments -- I've never felt guilty when I heard that. But I'm sure there are plenty of moms who DO feel guilty, so she has a point.

Honestly, blogging has helped me be a better parent. I read blogs from WONDERFUL mothers about all the fun traditions they have (you!) and learning activities, and just time they spend with their children. And it makes me do and be better. I've also heard/read (A LOT) that I'm going to miss this young kid stage, and to savor it. I am honestly a better mother because I blog. Even just blogging about the small moments means I'll *remember* them.

Some books that have changed my life as a parent: The Potentially Sane Mother's Guide to Raising Young Children by Tamara Fackrell, and I am a Mother, by Jane Clayson Johnson. I reread them frequently. And of course, a few recent conference talks. Elder Ballard's address to young moms, and Pres. Uchtdorf's address on create and be compassionate.

Good luck! You'll do great.

Mechelle said...

I have found as my children grow and learn, I grow and learn as a parent. I have to remind myself to be patient, and that the world can wait, my kids are more important.

Helping with homework (yes homework in kindergarten) is frusterating, especially after a full day of school. I have found that me not letting him give up, and trying to find what works for him in learning, and letting me help.

At times it is hard to "enjoy" when you are all stretched to thin and tired. Try not to take on to much as a parent and slow down and play with your kids. Roll around on the floor, play cars or dolls, go on walks to get the mail, ride bikes, do things with your children. But we need to find the balance between work and play.

The biggest lessons in life I learned from my parents, is how to work hard. Hard work and prayer gets you a long way and helps us to appreciate the things we have, especially if we earned them ourselves.

I could go on and on, but it would just further my own imperfections as a parent, so I'll stop now. I'd like to know how it goes for you. I'm sure you'll do great. Good luck.