Saturday, May 1, 2010

Good, Better, Best

Fourteen years ago I was a student at Brigham Young University. Studying my brains out. A little. And I was juggling men. Kind of.

At the time, my best friend and roommate was engaged to be married in the summer. I was newly-broken up with a guy I had been dating for a few months- in all honesty, we were best friends who were trying to force a romantic relationship.

And then I was being heavily pursued by an amazing guy that I loved to be around and who took me on some incredible dates and who was a phenomenal dancer. He was a guy who was strong in the gospel, intelligent, funny, handsome as all get out, talented- and he wanted to be with me. He loved me. And he came over one night to tell me as much.

He was one of those guys that all signs point to pursuing a relationship- because he was a catch. And that is what was so frustrating with the whole thing- I knew all this about him and I just wasn't feeling it. And it frustrated me.

On the night he came to my apartment, it was with the intent of having one of those discuss the relationship moments. I was forced to be honest with my feelings. He declared his love for me and all I could do was to try to assure him that I believed he was incredible, but I knew he wasn't the one for me. And I didn't like that, because at the time, I would have loved to make him be the one.

As he was leaving that night, he quoted President Monson, who once said, "Once you have experienced excellence, you will never again be content with mediocrity." And he felt he had experienced excellence with me. It was a grand compliment, and left me feeling a little confused. Because why couldn't I love this outstanding individual- one I knew would be a terrific father, supportive and doting husband, stellar leader.

This all occurred near the end of winter semester. And I vowed to be done with men for a while. Yet, I had also vowed to be done with female roommates and joked that my next roommate would be a boy.

I was wishy-washy as to what to do for spring term. There was a week's break and I had been planning on returning home for the week to go through the temple and receive special blessings there. But, my car was broken and it made it impossible for me to make the trip. So, I remained in Provo for the week, and hung out with my best guy friend with whom I had previously had a romantic relationship. It was a good week.

As the week came to a close, and classes were to begin the next day, I called my mom and told her I was ready to come home. Bag spring term. She listened to all my issues and encouraged me to register for a couple classes and see how they went. She ordered me to call her the next evening with a report.

As soon as we were off the phone, around midnight, I flipped through the class schedule catalog to find a suitable class for my major. I settled on a History of World Religions class and picked up the phone and registered for this and a Political Science class.

The following morning, May 1, 1996, I walked into the religion class 10 minutes early to find a line of approximately 20 students waiting and hoping to be able to add the course. The course that just 10 hours before I had added by telephone. No problem.

Just then a tall, handsome guy- wearing a white Old Navy sweatshirt and denim shorts passed by my desk to the right and sat down just two seats ahead (and to the right) of me. I was instantly smitten. I watched him throughout the class as Dr. Choi went over the syllabus. And decided there just might be something here to stay a whole term for.

When I returned home that day after classes, I told my mom the day went well and not to expect me home before the term was over.

That was the day I first laid eyes on the husband. Fourteen years ago today.

And now I know the concept of good, better, best. I was friends with good, pursued by better and married best. Sometimes we have to forego what we think is good or better and have faith that best will happen. Even when we don't quite understand. Thanks Elder Oaks, for enlightening me.

And my next roommate was indeed a boy.

If this all sounds a little familiar, I have written about this before- Jane Austen style. If you'd like to read it, link here.


Michelle said...

There's nothing like a Saturday morning love story. Happy May 1st!

Ruth P said...

It is so refreshing to hear two married people who are still in love! You both are such great examples to me on love and marriage! Keep the stories coming! :)

uniquelynat said...

happy meeting day to you both!

HanksFam said...

I love that talk by Elder Oaks. It is one that comes to my mind often. I just got back from Womens' Conference today where Elder Oaks spoke at the closing session.

Thanks for sharing!

Audra said...

Great to "bump" into you today. Keep in touch at or email me at

GRAMEE said...

I love a love story,

Seems I liked it better Jane Austen

always a sucker for romance..
happy anniversary.

Michael C. Hanks said...

Thank you for this.