Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Let this be a lesson to you, Cinderella

The other day I was talking to a woman who said this to me at the end of our conversation: "Well, I hope all your dreams come true."

I was like (thinking in my head), "Uh, wow, thanks. But you really need to stop and re-think what you are hoping there."

Cause I really hope ALL my dreams don't come true, because if they did, this is what my life would be like. For starters, I would spend the majority of my life half-naked in public, usually terrified as the world carries on about its business- not really giving me a second glance- and I'm left wondering how best to hide myself. I would also have a huge wad of pink bubble gum in my mouth that would be IMPOSSIBLE to get out. I would pull at it and pull at it and it would just keep on coming. And I would be trying to talk to someone and of course they wouldn't be able to understand me. And then I would stick my whole finger in my mouth and do a sweep, but it wouldn't do any good because the gum would still be filling up the whole opening regardless of all the sweeping and pulling I did. It would just stick in there. Never to be completely removed. Then, I would spend an eternity trying to open my eyes while performing life's daily tasks. I would be walking whilst reminding myself 'open your eyes', but they would only open for a split-second and then close right up again- not really conducive to walking. And then, I would find myself at the end of the semester, facing the final, and having only attended class one time. To make matters worse, this would be the last final before graduation. And of course, I wouldn't be able to remember the combination to my locker.

What I actually said, with an awkward half-smile on my face, to the lady who had this hope for me was, "Yeah, thanks. K, bye."

Lots of moms hope all their children's dreams come true. But knowing what I know, I will be an educated and sympathetic mom and say, "I hope all my children's dreams DON'T come true. Because I know for a fact they have nightmares sometimes. And I know for a fact that middle daughter's fingers were chopped off last Thursday night (possibly early Friday morning) by a guy that looked like Underwear."

So, well-meaning lady- I know you were wishing me the best in your most innocent and unimaginative way possible, but I have to say that you should think about your hopes for others. Because maybe, just maybe, your hopes for them are not what their hopes for themselves might be.

Oh, and Cinderella, I don't really think that in all cases a dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep. You're really beautiful and all, but also a little incorrect because I don't really think your heart would make some of the wishes that you dream of. Something to think about while you're feeding the chickens. Amen.


Shannon said...

I have almost all those exact same dreams (except the bubble gum one, never had that. I HATE waking up after trying to find the room to take a final for a class I never attended. Don't they say that a goal not written down is just a dream? Maybe your friend should have said, "I hope you accomplish all your goals." Not as poetic, but it covers all the dreams you really want to come true.

Mechelle said...

Woah!! That's some intense analyzing (sp?). I too have had some weird dreams, boarding on psycotic. The gum one is a frequent visitor, so needless to say I don't chew gum very often, and when I do it's not for very long. I do agree with the previous comment of "accomplishing your goals", it has a more positive focus.

Chris said...

Althoug I'm currently daydreaming of a White Christmas, I hope my recent falling-out-of-an-elevator dream doesn't come true. Thinking of this post gives me nightmares!


ha hahaaaaaaa!!! now THAT is funny!

cwalk64 said...

I have a recurring dream that I have to make all right in the world, hope that never happens.

mom and dad said...

be thankful that you can sleep and dream. some of us don't have that luxury!

GrumpyAngel said...

Pretty funny analysis :-) Love it. I have the end of semester and possibly won't graduate dream over and over again. Isn't that awful? Anyway found you on Saucy Moms at Mormon Mommy Blogs, same category as me so I decided to visit.

Me said...

Too Funny, and all so True! I've had similar thoughts!

I found you via Mormon Mommy Blogs. I've visited you a few times, and decided today to de-lurk and say HI!

If its alright with you, I am going to add you to my blog roll and visit again.

big_smartmouth said...

my fave? the dream where your teeth fall out. some of the dreams have it so my teeth fall out very slowly. a wiggle here, a wiggle there, then, no matter how hard i try to keep it in, it will fall out. but, even worse is the dream where they all fall out at once. you'd be talking, then you start to choke on a mouth full of who knows what, and when you spit it out to stop the choking, you realize it's all your teeth!! woe, my heart's racing just thinking about that one! i HATE it! since most of my dreams are, more or less, on the crazy side, i hope no one wishes my dreams to come true. if someone did happen to utter that phrase to me, i'm sure i couldn't stop myself from throwing out, "well, that's just rude!" to them back!