Head Service

I have made a resolution. Starting yesterday, I am determining to do more for others.

I often have this type of thought creep into my head: "I should call so and so" or "I need to drop by whatshernames" or "After I get done making these cookies, I should take a plate over to the neighbor's" etc, etc, ETC. I am ALWAYS thinking of things I should do. But a lot of the time that's where it ends- with just the thought.

This one time, like 3 or more years ago, when one of my friends was pregnant, we were in a group setting where we were talking about projects we needed to get done around the house and she mentioned that she still needed to clean the cement splatters from off her back windows from when her house was being built and stuccoed. Right that minute I determined to go and clean her windows the next morning. So, the next morning I woke up, gathered the necessary window cleaning supplies, and went and knocked on her door. And waited. Then I rang her doorbell. And waited. She didn't answer. I walked back to my car and loaded the supplies and the children and returned home.

Then againg the following morning I made the trek back to her doorstep, determined to complete the task this time. Again I knocked. I waited. I rang. I waited. Again, no answer. So, dejected, I loaded the necessaries back into my car.

I didn't go back the next day. I just let it go.

I just re-read all this and it seems like the next logical/ tragical sentence should be- "I never got the chance to do it or anything else for her, because tragically the next day she and her whole family were swept from the earth in a ginormous tornado and I will never see her again in this life. Why didn't I follow those promptings?" Yeah, it is nothing like that, it's just that now she has moved to cooler and greener pastures- just an hour and a half up the freeway. I don't think I even ever told her about this. Maybe I should have. Maybe just telling her about it would have meant something to her. I don't know. Maybe she is reading this today and now she knows what I almost did for her. Again, I don't know.

My point? I always have these thoughts and impressions. If everyone I know only knew how many times I perform an awesome service for them in my head, they would feel really loved and looked after. But, I guess head service has no real lasting merit. So that's why, starting yesterday, I am actually determined to see my head service to fruition. All those good intentions that I have? I will act on them. And this resolution feels good.

And don't be surprised if I show up one morning on your front doorstep, bucket/cookies/book/whatever in hand ready to do whatever it is that we talked about yesterday.