Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Product

What do you do when you find a split-end? No, not on your head- um, on your arm. I found one. Sunday. While I was sitting in Sunday School, listening to the Gospel Doctrine teacher who was teaching about everything but arm hair split ends. And you know what they say about when you find one split end- there are many more you can't see (kinda like cockroaches and termites).

I just don't know what more I can do for my arm hair- not arm pit hair- just arm hair, like on the forearm. I give it the best moisturizing shampoos. The best conditioners. The best leave-in conditioners. I use the lowest heat possible on my hair dryer. The lowest heat on my flat iron (and it is a little time-consuming to straighten all that arm hair). And the best hairspray money can buy. Obviously, it needs something else.

So while I was at Wal-Mart yesterday I searched high and low for arm hair products. There were none to be found. Anywhere. In that huge store. And Sally Beauty Supply was next door. Didn't even go in there. I was feeling too defeated.

You know what I think the greatest problem facing us in today's society? No product (sorry beauty school girls, but I always think it sounds funny when people call hairspray "product". cracks me up) specifically for the arm hair. I think we are a prejudiced society. You only get product if you are on the head. Isn't that sending the wrong message? Isn't every hair just as important as hair-on-the-head? I don't know what we can do about this. There is no legislation in place. Who wants to lobby for arm hair? What happens if we do slip into a depression? No one's going to want to focus on the arm hair. And then where will we be?

I have a sister who is a beautician. My next move is to schedule a trim. I know she can clean up my unsightly arm hair. Anyway, I can't even bear to give it another thought. I just have to move on. So when you see me next, please don't judge me. Just know that when you find your first split-end (on the arm) I will (hopefully) have found a solution- or maybe at least some product. Come see me. I'll also have chocolate.

Seriously, though!?! A split end on my arm hair?

7 comments:

Chris said...

This reminds me, is arm hair covered in the resurrection? I'm only finding hair on the head...maybe its not worth finding "product" for if you'll lose it anyway...

Alma 40: 23 The soul shall be restored to the body, and the body to the soul; yea, and every limb and joint shall be restored to its body; yea, even a hair of the head shall not be lost; but all things shall be restored to their proper and perfect frame.

D&C 9:14 Stand fast in the work wherewith I have called you, and a hair of your head shall not be lost, and you shall be lifted up at the last day. Amen.

Nathan said...

Ha Ha Ha!

Product. That gets me every time.

(again, no offense to hair people)

It's just one of those industry terms that I've never understood.

Sorry about the split end.

uniquelynat said...

don't mock the product! so sad. why can't people just leave us alone! we have feelings like everyone else. maybe if you learned how to use correct "hair people" terms you would quit getting bad haircuts, cause then we could understand what you were asking for!! haha

but really- in all my years of doing hair i have NEVER heard someone complain of a split end on their ARM! HA That's a first!

Maybe you could get in to the guinness book of world records! that would be cool. i bet there's not record for the most arm hair split ends. you could be the first! and then we could all say that we knew you when you found the first one!

wonder woman said...

:o) LOVE this post!! And a split hair on your arm is weird - especially with all the TLC you give it!!!

We'll have to see about that legislation. If chickens can get a big enough cage to comfortably lie down in before they're slaughtered, SURELY we can do something about our furry forearms!

Mechelle said...

You are so funny! I love it!

Lynn said...

Funny to the max !

I dislike my arm hair (no split ends yet ) but while I was reading your post, I remembered something my Nana told me years ago...If you have hair still growing on your arms and legs, you're healthy but watch out when it disappears !

BTW, that Sunday School lesson must have been Boring...and "Product" in the hairdressing world means $$$ out of your pocket after they use it on you, you take it home and the results aren't the same as at the salon !

Marivic_Little GrumpyAngel said...

ha-ha-ha-ha! Okay, I've never heard of split-ends on an arm hair before. Is it possible to wax arm hair or is that like waterboarding a.k.a. torture?