Monday, October 12, 2009

Boxes

The husband was in New Jersey last week. I was missing him something fierce. It never feels right to go to bed alone when he is gone. He returned early Saturday morning, while the moon was high in the sky and I was long past sleep's doorstep.

He took a peek at the fairy garden by moonlight and then came up to bed. The children were beyond excited to surprise him with it upon his return and I made him vow to be surprised when they showed it to him in the morning. He stood back and gave proper admiration. And told us it was a job well done.

And then I was off to spend all day Saturday without the man I had just reunited with. And I missed him again. Something fierce.

The husband and I have not spent a Saturday together in over three months. I'm aching for a Saturday spent with him. But, I have felt the blessings flow as we have sacrificed our Saturdays.

He has had a three month calling as a veil worker in the temple and it ended just two weeks ago. When this calling was first issued, I must admit I was a little Bitter Betty. I found myself wondering why he was blessed with such a calling? Why was I not able to receive such a calling? Wasn't he already serving enough? Was the Lord really requiring him to spend more time away from our little family?

And, it took a couple weeks for me to humble myself enough to be open to the blessings that were just waiting. Like, I think the Lord had a box full of them with a giant label that said,

"Not to be opened until attitude improves."

And I found myself one night, kneeling beside my bed, praying that I was" grateful for the husband's opportunity to be in the temple each week. And would you please allow me to feel the blessings that temple service brings?"

And the box opened. And poured down blessings on our family. And even greater blessings on our marriage. Our relationship grew in ways that I didn't ever know I wanted or needed, but I truly appreciated. And, how did He know?

I had murmured. I doubted. I pouted. I begrudged. And still the Lord boxed up a few blessings and sent them my way. Who does that? Who gives even when the recipient has not shown any indication of being deserving? I was spiritually spanked. And truly humbled.

I never knew I could receive the blessings of the temple just by allowing my very own husband to serve there. And I'm just a little bit sad that his calling has ended.

I have a feeling there may be a lot more boxes out there.

And some of them have my name on them. I hope the tags say,

"Attitude much improved. Open any time."









Tune in Tuesday to meet an awesome blogger!

10 comments:

Noelle said...

Thanks for this. I needed it today.

Ruth P said...

This post really touched me. I have been feeling like Bitter Betty off an on for the last couple of months. Scott is gone so much and I miss him and the kids miss him. I know that our family is blessed as well, with his service. I needed this today too.

Shannon said...

Perfect thoughts for toda and for my last week. Thanks.

uniquelynat said...

very good. thank you for sharing your feelings. and thanks for a fun saturday. i was glad to get to spend the day with you even though you would have rather been with your newly returned husband. that day blessed my life. and i have you to thank.

The Head Eagle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Head Eagle said...

Such great thoughts. It's amazing, sometimes, how he will open those boxes -that he has stashed away..just for us..even when we are stubborn about just letting them be ours!

*Sorry about the duplicate. I couldn't let the typos go! Darn OCD

Cynthia said...

You have such a great way with words. I'm glad you both had the opportunities to grow through his service- and glad it's done too!

Clare said...

Can't tell you how many times I have felt like this. I loved your box analogy and will think of it next time I'm a "Bitter Betty"

Kellie said...

Great reminder. Thanks:)

farmerswife17 said...

You truely have a gift at expressing your thoughts and feelings. Thank you for sharing your true self and the wonderful things you have learned by humbling yourself. My husband is the Elders Quourum Pres and is gone some nights when I would really like him to be home. I need a little humbling myself, because I know we are blessed in more ways than I realize, if I could just put on my spiritual eyes more often I would be more appreciative of things and especially of the time we do have together. I know I am really appreciative he is not a bishop or in the stake. :) You are truely a wonderful lady. Thanks so much for the time you put into blogging.