While You Were Out

The husband has been out of town on business all week. He returns tonight and we can't wait. The following is a letter to the husband outlining all that has transpired since he has been gone.

Dear(est) Husband,

I may as well let you know right up front that we have missed you like the dickens. I really don't know how dickenses miss each other, but I can assume they miss each other pretty bad. That's how we have missed you. Like the dickens. Or maybe more. Yes, more.

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Did you know that we had our usual Monday date with Great Great Old Margaret? She gave each of the children $3 to spend. We took her to Deseret Industries, as always, and then she treated us to lunch at Denny's. And you know how that conversation always goes:

GGOM: Where would you like to eat? You choose this time.

Me: OK

GGOM: I like Denny's. Is there a Denny's around here?

Me: Yes, there is. Would you like to eat at Denny's?

GGOM: Yes.

Me: Good thing I thought of Denny's, right?

The children picked out fabulous treasures at D.I. Oldest daughter found rollerblades- for $4! Bargain! Middle daughter lamented that the bike she almost picked out last week had been sold, so she settled on a stuffed bunny with floppy ears and a bow around its neck. Can you guess how many times I have re-tied that bow? And little son opted for some kind of war vehicle with catapults on it. Awesome.

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Since we got home those rollerblades have been scooting around the house nonstop. Good thing we have so much tile. We have bandaged up a number of owies and are currently working on concocting some sort of bum padding for hard falls.
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I took the children to the Mesa Temple for the annual Easter Pageant production. It was wonderful as always. But not the same without you.


Little son was mesmerized by the Roman soldiers and kept asking if the swords were real. After the production, we had the chance to meet one of those soldiers and wouldn't ya know- little son was too shy to even touch that sword when it was offered to him by the soldier. So oldest daughter marched right up to that soldier who taught her an honest to goodness Roman soldier handshake.
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This will be no surprise to you- the canine still insists on a game of hide-and-go-seek at bedtime so that she can avoid being hoteled in the kennel at night. Smart one, that. Although, I have outsmarted her all nights. I have a system. I'll tell you all about it.

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You should have been here yesterday. It was a three ring circus. Or maybe four. The girls had a little friend over to play. And then we added two aunts and three cousins. It was wonderful. And eventful. Curious? Let me 'splain.

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Yesterday morning I was in the hall bathroom and heard a sort of humming. At first I thought it was some sort of motor, but for some reason I stopped to listen. And the closer I listened, the more I realized it sounded like bees. In our bathroom vent! I didn't think much about it, other than hoping there wasn't a hive in our attic and remembering to have you take care of it when you got home, and I went on with my morning. When the friend got here and I was talking to her mother, I noticed a bee flying in the entryway, but didn't think much of it.

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After lunch, the kids were playing outside and middle daughter ran in to tell me there were a lot of bees by the front door. I went out to look, and sure enough, A Buncha Bees. I called all the children in and walked around the house to look for more and there they were- up on the roof by the laundry room vent. So I came in and called the pest control company who referred me to Kevin, the beekeeper. Within 45 minutes, Kevin was here and annihilating the bees.

He took a look at it and said we had a mess of scouter bees at our house. This is what he explained: when bees' hives become overpopulated, they send out scouts to find a suitable location for a hive. Once they find it, they go back and get the queen and then the whole 15-20,000 of them move on in. Yikes. So Kevin took care of it. And charged me an arm and a leg. And no one was stung.

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Good thing I took care of it, right? I thought you had enough on your plate with the gophers. Besides I don't think you have small enough bb's for bees. Do you?

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Our Speed Racer friend stopped for a short smoke in the midst of the bee crisis. Later, the aunts and I did some investigating and found that he is indeed smoking tobacco. I lifted his discarded butt with my very own fingers, just to be sure. Eww.

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You may not recognize us when you get home, because we all got haircuts yesterday.

But you'll know who I am-- I'll be the one with the dark circles under her eyes (I don't sleep well when you are gone) plus, I am missing an arm and a leg. I gave them to Kevin.

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I haven't quite finished the kitchen project I started last week, but hope to have it near completion by the time you arrive home.

But, I am leaving the bedroom curtains for you to hang. I don't feel like using your drill whose batteries can't hold a charge. Can you do something about that?

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Please come home soon. I actually had to wash dishes this week. I forgot what it was like to do dishes. I like our arrangement- you do a better job at the dishes than I. Plus, I don't know where all the dishes go when unloading the dishwasher. See? We need you around here.

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And we miss you.

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More than the dickens.

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Love,

Stephanie

xoxoxoxo